the answer to that very involved question is no. there will always be sexism and racism and bigotry. the thought process then turns to how you live your life, and the actions and words you put forth.
there are those who think less of me because i’ve got a vagina between my legs instead of a cock.
my response: this is how i was born. i wasn’t able to choose my sex at birth, and even if i was presented with that opportunity i’d still choose to be a woman! yes, it is a patriarchal society, but if you stop and think you’ll understand and acknowledge women hold the power. i can do two things the male of the species will never be able to accomplish: give life to another human being and nutritionally sustain another human being. admittedly i go through a living hell each month for nine days (i’m not kidding–i’m on the rag for nine days each month) in order to be able to accomplish both of these amazing feats and that’s fine. if you don’t want to get to know me merely because i’m a woman, i truly feel sorry for you.
there are those who think less of me because i’m jewish.
my response: again, something i am unable to change. while i’m a non-observant jew, i do honor and respect the rich heritage of my people. if you don’t want to get to know me merely because i’m a jew, i truly feel sorry for you.
there are those who think less of me because i vote republican or conservative.
my response. i don’t believe i was born to vote for the republican or conservative ticket simply because i come from a long line of hard-core democrats. is one’s choice of politics ingrained in the womb? in my case i’ll have to say no! i’ve got friends who comprise every make and model of the political spectrum, and i will always listen to, and debate, opposing opinions. i’d like to think if i bought you a patron and sat at the end of the bar with you, you’d be willing to listen, and debate, my opinions. if you don’t want to get to know me merely because i’m a registered conservative, i truly feel sorry for you.
can’t we all just get along? for the most part, yes. we are humans, we are intellectuals, we are free thinkers, and we have free will. however, there are some opinions which will never be changed. i’m not fully accepting of that, but in the light of day there’s only so much i can do regarding how you view me. i might be the one person walking the planet who has what you need, but does your poor opinion of me because i’m a female jewish conservative make you not want to talk to me to get what you need? if so, i truly feel sorry for you.
i don’t know how to fully process the pain my husband (for now) has caused me. i don’t know what to do with it, where to put it, how to handle it. i no longer trust him–his actions, his words, his thoughts. i’ve invested nearly 10 years of my life in a relationship with this human being, and i’m contemplating letting it all go. i’ve got no problems with being alone, and i suppose i’d classify myself as a bit of a loner. hell, i waited until i was 42 to get married. i’m financially secure for the balance of my life, so no concerns there. the thing is, what happens after if i decide to divorce him? will i ever trust men again? how will i maintain my relationships with my sisters-in-law and other members of the family? i don’t want sympathy or shoulders on which to cry. i want to know … what do i want to know? i want to know these aches i’m feeling and the irrational thoughts consuming me will, at some point in time, subside, and possibly disappear altogether. i do want to believe in love, but i’m not sure that will happen ever again. am i fine with that? i think so, but if you were to ask me the same question tomorrow i’ll probably deny the “i think so” statement i just made.
i love my life, i love myself, and i love that i had love consume me. the question is will i allow what’s occurring now consume me more than the love ever did?
want to know what’s bothering me? i’ll tell you. what’s bothering me are the sweeping indictments of folks who align themselves with certain groups. if you say you’re a republican or conservative, you’re defined as being a “no” person or an elitist. if you say you’re a democrat, people assume you want to take all my hard-earned money and give it to the poor.
allow me to lay some stuff on the line for you:
conservative. i am a conservative and am registered as such here in new york state. in all the other states in which i’ve lived i have registered as a republican. i vote conservative when candidates are up for the vote, otherwise i pull the lever for the republican ticket.
gay rights. i do not agree with many of my fellow republicans and conservatives who say gay and lesbian couples should not be able to legally marry. do not lump me in with pat robertson and others of his ilk; i don’t agree with them. (i also think mr. robertson may be insane, but that’s a topic for another post.) i firmly believe one’s sexual orientation is ingrained from birth, and i know you don’t choose with whom you fall in love. i like men, always have and always will, and maybe you feel the same way! if, as a woman, i am able to marry a person of the opposite sex, who has the right to say people of the same sex can’t marry? i don’t have that right and neither do you, and i think it’s disgusting and un-american that gays and lesbians aren’t able to legally marry. i don’t understand this fight, for i feel the fight is unnecessary. legal marriage for consenting adults.
gun control. i own several guns and have them in my home for protection. i don’t use my weapons to kill game (ted nugent!) but i would if i lived the way the nuge lives. if someone were to kill a member of my family and the courts can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that guilty verdict, i would have no qualms about being the only person on the firing squad. if you attempted to break into my home and hurt me or mine, my only suggestion would be to make peace with whatever higher power you believe in, if you do, and do it quick, for your lights are about to go out. i understand and acknowledge both sides of this heated debate, and i do see the pros and cons of each side. i understand fully if guns scare you (imagine growing up with an drug-addicted and alcoholic mother with guns in the home!). i understand and respect those of you who provide for your families the old fashioned way. this debate will never end, but i’m happy with where i stand on this issue.
abortion. i believe life begins at conception, but you may disagree. i believe abortion is murder, but you may disagree. i can’t imagine what a woman who’s had an abortion has gone through, and i’m not sure i ever will. unless my close girlfriends are lying to me, i believe none of them have had abortions. other than after a rape or an incestuous relationship where either of which resulted in a pregnancy, i don’t understand the thought process which goes into the decision to have an abortion. you’re terminating a life that’s living and growing inside you. i don’t understand this, and i’m not sure i ever will. another heated debate which will never end.
government. i believe government, at all levels, needs to be as small as possible, with the fewest number of intrusions into my personal and professional lives as possible. i believe the government is not responsible for me, and in turn i believe i’m not responsible for you.
whiners. i get particularly fed up with the whiners who say they have no opportunities. if you’re upright and in the united states of america, you are presented with every possible opportunity to succeed! it’s your fault, not mine, if you don’t move forward in your life. do not come at me and tell me you can’t afford college, that you’re broke, or whatever else you want to whine about. i used my g.i. bill and worked my ass off in numerous bars and taverns to put myself through school to obtain my degree in computer science. i was left alone, with several younger brothers and a sister to look after, too many times to count when i was younger. why? because my mother decided getting high, whoring around and staying drunk for weeks on end was more important than her children. you will never hear me whine about my lot in life. i took care of my siblings when she disappeared, stayed in school, didn’t get pregnant at 15, and moved on with my life.
there are so many different words and phrases you could use to describe yourself. what i want you to remember is this: as you go about your life, remember to not lump all of us into a group. i promise to keep an open mind when communicating and interacting with you, and i ask the same of you.
there are many phrases and words i could use to describe myself: woman; pisces; veteran; gun owner; believer in God; wife (for now); sister; aunt; real estate investor; friend. there are two more words i’d use which make me really proud: business owner. God blessed me with an entrepreneurial brain and i’ve put my brain to very good use. i own a number of properties which i’ve turned into rentals, and i employ two full-time managers to solely help me manage these properties and my tenants. there are also the three bars which i own, where i employ at least four people at each location. i own a local laundromat which is always clean and well-maintained thanks to the amazing man who runs the place. i have — and will continue to do so until it’s time for me to meet my Maker — exploited all the goodness which america has to offer. i’ve still got so many dreams left inside this body, and i know when i work hard, save my money and partner with amazing people i will make all those new dreams come to fruition.
to all the politicians who may be reading this blog, i’ve got five words for you: get out of my way. i’m the type of person you want living in your state. i add to the tax rolls and i get people off welfare. stop burdening me with unnecessary paperwork and regulations. make the state’s websites easy to understand, make all the forms needed available for download, and implement digital signatures. tell state employees to put a smile on their face and to treat me like a queen when i call in with a question or need. (i’m tired of the nasty people on the other end of the line who sound so depressed. get happy!) make it easier for me to give you what all states so desperately need: money on the tax rolls.
get out of my way, give me the minimum number of hurdles to jump, and witness the amazing things i will do for our state.
i don’t know if the allegations are true, that jesse james cheated on his wife sandra bullock. this is a marital and private matter and the inner workings are none of my business. however, i will say this: don’t feel sorry for sandra bullock. she seems like a lovely lady, her academy award speech was from the heart, and let’s be honest, she’s the kind of girl with whom i’d love to hang out and down a few patrons. if all this nastiness is true, don’t feel sorry for her. feel sorry for jesse. should the allegations prove themselves to be true: he has forever changed how his two daughters will relate to men in the future; he has broken his marriage vows; he has wounded his wife and children and less importantly his adoring public. did he have unprotected sex? such a stupid fucker. did the vanilla gorilla ask for an aids test before dippin’ the wick? probably not. he has altered so much in his life, the lives of his children and his wife …
sandra will be fine. give her the time, space and privacy needed, but don’t feel sorry for her.
pelosi. reid. obama. progressives. health care. all of this, and a helluva lot more, spells trouble for the greatest nation on the planet. our democratic republic is in trouble and it’s up to you and me to prevent further damage.
you must get involved in your government, including local, state and national politics. cliche of the day: politicians work for us. we are the constituency. our votes matter.
here’s another thought: you disgust me if you don’t vote. don’t give me the bullshit line that “my vote doesn’t matter.” your vote is precious (others would kill to have what you have), it’s counted and it’s important. don’t tell me “i don’t vote because i don’t like any of the choices.” another bullshit, punk-ass, and weak argument. investigate and question the candidates. where do they stand on the issues which mean the most to you? cast a ballot and get involved.
speaking of getting involved, it’s time for you to call your senators and representative(s). i have, many times, and now it’s your turn. tell them they’ll lose their jobs come november if they dare to vote for this health care monstrosity. go here and search for the folks who represent you: contacting the congress.